I love the circus. But not clowns.
Yesterday I saw a preview for Book of Circus – it sounded like the most awesome thing in the world. But it turns out it’s part of something else. I tried to read Kuroshitsuji a while ago and really couldn’t get into it but when I saw this preview I wondered if I needed to know anything about Kuroshitsuji in order to understand Book of Circus. And then I began to wonder if the first chapters of Kuroshitsuji weren’t really a promise of what was to come and maybe I should give it another go.
But I haven’t decided yet.
Sometimes, not often, I start a piece of fiction with a solid idea of what I want. I write it out, tweak it and just as I’m finishing it I realise I’m going to change it. Not because I’m unhappy with it, but because my new idea is better. And completely different.
The Fight for Spira started out as a cross over between X, VIII and VII. I wrote a lot of it before I cut out all the scenes with Cloud and Squall and changed the direction of the tale. The only thing that really stayed the same was the idea that someone was trying to take control of Spira.
I also find myself wanting to experiment with different genres and sub-genres, and possibly styles. Though romance still has no appeal…
Ultimately, all this has lead to me deleting an entire day’s worth of writing. I’m keeping the opening scene though.
At least, I think I’m keeping the opening scene :P
にほんごの がくせいです。 にほんごが おもしろいでも ときどき むずかしいです。 まんがと にほんのおんがくが すきです。 はがねのれんきんじゅつしの まんがが いちばんすきです。 「Fairy Tail」も すきです。 ちゅうごくのまんが 「City of Darkness」も すきです。
にほんしも おもしろいです。 へいあんじだいが いちばんすきです。 せんごくじだいも すきです、 でも、それほど、くわしくないです。
せんしゅう 「Sengoku Basara」のアニメ みました。 たのしいです
Pretty pleased with myself – only a couple of typos and one incorrect verb use. I’ve also started learning kanji – I can now write 火、水、右、左. And type them as well :) Typing in Japanese is a little time consuming though. I have to keep changing things for the different characters. I imagine as I get better I will get faster.
So I’ve been waiting on confirmation for an idea I had about Fairy Tail. Today’s chapter started with that confirmation, and then twisted it around. I love it~!
Floating in manga bliss…
Now that my mind is no longer plagued with bike issues, it is free to think again. And I’ve really been thinking.
There have been a couple of things in my life and my work environment that have made me look at my life again. Situations have changed and I can continue blindly or I can take this time to reevaluate my path, is it the one I want and am happy to continue – I’ve gone with the second and decided that I would like to make some changes.
The changes are looong term so nothing’s changing overnight. I guess it’s not so much changes as reevaluating and redirecting my current path and what I want to be doing 5 – 10 years from now.
On the whole, I’m feeling quite positive again and ready to continue. And also pick up the slack on a couple of neglected hobbies :P
This morning I hit my lowest point.
Between the theft, the insurance mix up, the delay in having the bike deregistered, troublesome students and general stress I’ve been pretty worn out. This morning I was told there was no morning work for me for the next two weeks. Usually not a problem – if I know in advance. But I didn’t and it really pushed me over the edge and my self control slipped a little. I got a bit weepy but no actual crying.
Now the work thing has been sorted and hopefully the bike will be sorted next week and my life can return to its simple way – the way it should be.
Complications, be gone~!
So on Saturday I was very excited, and a little nervous, to collect my new shiny bike. I went through, got it and brought it home – I was very happy.
Until it got stolen on Sunday night – 35 hours after I got it. I got to ride it once.
My week has been very low, and I find myself on the verge of tears most of the time. And to top it off, I appear to be getting a cold. On the whole I’m miffed.
Katie had just left me when she died. We had been arguing about something stupid – the dishes or something – when suddenly she just said it. “I’m done with you.”
I immediately thought it was because of her parents – they weren’t happy that she was with a woman. And I told her to just ignore them. Then she said the worst thing I have ever heard – “It’s not because you are a girl, it’s because you are you.”
I was still trying to figure that out when her brother called a few days later to say she had been killed. Car accident – instant. I did feel relieved about that.
There were all sorts of other emotions, but I remember being disappointed the most. We never got to reconcile.
Today is the two week anniversary of her death. As I settle into the reality of her death, I’ve come to realise that I need her in my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.
The week started off really badly. Work was busy, people were complaining about everything, nothing was working. The Benji came along. When I looked into his eyes, I saw Katie so I decided to keep him, and I needed something to focus my energy on. Unfortunately, Benji has spent the last week begging to be let out the bathroom but he’ll run away if I do. I just hope the neighbours don’t complain.
All week I fed him what I was eating, he eats it but his not very keen – I don’t really want to buy special food for him, it seems like a waste. I think he might be missing his old life. But he’ll just have to get used to his new one.
I haven’t been feeling so down the last couple of days. I guess I’m on the road to recovery.
This week ended much better than the last week. I had a performance review at work. It didn’t start off well till I explained about Katie’s death. I didn’t mean to make them feel bad, but I couldn’t help crying when I spoke about her – it was the first time I had spoken about it to anyone at work.
And Benji has been behaving himself – I’ve had to discipline him twice though. His eyes used to remind me of Katie but now they’re just sad all time. I only kept him because of the resemblance. He was whining to be let out when I got in last night. I opened the door with my belt in hand and he shut up immediately.
Everyone is being really nice to me at work. They keep saying things like take your time and no rush. It’s a pleasant change from before. Even Benji has relaxed a little.
At first Benji wouldn’t let me near him. He’s a lot more accepting of his situation now – I can even hug him. He protests but there’s no strength left in it. He just sits rigid and glaring till I’m done. Today I was telling him how he reminded me of Katie and how much I loved her, and how I didn’t want him to be so sad all the time. He sat watching me for a while before whispering,
“I’m not Katie, my sister’s dead – please let me go.”
Specifically – jeans.
I’ve come to realise I don’t wear jeans all that often. I have one pair of regular blues jeans. I recently made some new garbs which forced me to tidy up my garb self in my cupboard and I found the aforementioned jeans squashed up against a pile of kimono – I’m not sure how long they’ve been there. But now that they’re out, I shall wear them tomorrow.
But I’m going to have to get into the habit of wearing jeans as I want to purchase a motorbike. I’ve ridden in a skirt before, it’s not fun – pants are easier. I don’t really like spending money on clothes though, but I hate making pants more – it’s a dilemma.
On a side note – I’m reading Chew. It’s fantastic, everyone should read it.
I don’t really check my airtime balance, I just load up some money every month – I tried a couple of times to check it but it kept saying wrong number and I never bothered to see if I was actually using the correct number to begin with. I wasn’t, and it turns out I wasn’t using as much airtime as I thought. With a balance of R399.09, I don’t think I need airtime for awhile.
On the other hand, I check my bank balance a lot.