Bleach once more
It’s the shinigami. More specifically, it’s the shinigami fighting. I love them.
I was annoyed at how after the whole Aizen thing I didn’t get to find out what had happened to everyone after the battle. There was a time jump and a series of unconvincing events and same same characters. So I gave up on Bleach.
But then I went back and tried again, and I still think it’s messy, but we’re back in Soul Society and the shinigami are fighting yet another series of villains. And it’s delicious.
Though I almost had heart failure at events that transpired with Byakuya, and there were tears. Now I’m terribly worried that both my favourite captains don’t have… I’m not going to say – spoilers. But the worry is still there.
Sickness and Health
I don’t like being ill on the weekend. It is a complete waste of a weekend.
If I end up doing nothing on the weekend, great – my choice. But being sick… there is choice, you just do nothing because you can’t do anything.
And this is the second weekend. Last weekend, I took some drugs and slept away the days. I was feeling pretty pleased that it hadn’t developed into anything serious. But Friday brought home the error of my thinking. Now I feel worse than I did last weekend – and I have stuff I want to do this weekend.
On the plus side, being ill with modern tech isn’t all that terrible – at least I can watch movies in bed. And I got a bunch of old 80′s horrors from a work colleague yesterday.
Pets and music
I have an uncultured cat and a fearful dog when it comes to music.
Polo doesn’t like Beethoven. He flattens his ears and leaves the room with a face.
When I play Rammstein in the room, Shackleton stands nervously in the passage peering in, his brow worried.
Though L, my nephew whose five and not an animal, really likes instrumental music. Occasionally he’ll stop playing a game to listen to the music - particularly Final Fantasy IX.
Journey
Me and Aki downloaded Journey on Monday – waited an almost painful long time for it to download and then played it back to back.
It is currently the most enjoyable game I’ve ever played. I liked the idea and the art, I loved the music. One of the things I liked most was the companionship that developed at the end as we trudged through the snow and wind. I don’t know who it was that stayed by me and waited for me but I was so pleased we finished the journey together. I think what made it special for me was that nothing was said – a wordless shout. Everything was displayed by actions and it really spoke to my current feelings about life.
It kind of reminded me about life – an journey that always comes back to the beginning, it has no point but you travel through anyway, sometimes with someone, sometimes without, it can be light or dark, fun or nerve wracking, intense and beautiful. Filled with wonder.
The game is highly enjoyable as is, but I think what you bring to the game makes it so much more.
Fallout
In many ways, the beginning of this year is worse than the beginning of last year.
Last year was just grief – there was nothing else. There was always sadness and a year of ‘firsts’ – first events without Sybella, first birthday since her death, first anniversary of her death.
This year there is still sadness but it’s not all there is. So when the sadness hits, it’s sudden and shocking and throws emotions into turmoil. It was easier with constant sadness. But the sadness was also terrible. It’s just not easy. And I don’t think it ever is.
Regrets and Anger
I do regret accepting the admin job. Yeah, it’s temporary but I’ve come to realise how long five months can be. Very long indeed – it’s still only January and I want to run away.
In truth, when I said yes, not only was I in a bit of a slump with my teaching, I was also thinking I had made a serious mistake becoming a teacher. I didn’t seem to be able to get it together. But that one instance out balanced all the fun I had had teaching so far. I was almost desperate to do admin. And I’ll admit to feeling relief at the thought of not teaching for five months.
Unfortunately, I knew I had made a mistake as soon as I started my training. But it was too late to back out, I was stuck and had to go forward. Five months of teaching experience will now be lost and that is my second regret. And my anger is at myself. I’m angry for not stopping and really thinking, but just going with what was happening around me.
Now that I find myself in this situation I might as well put it to good use. Methodology and techniques. I’m lacking in these departments so now is a good time to read up about them, fill in the missing pieces and return to teaching better than I was before. With this I also want to put together a course plan and I can use these months to do research. The admin job is 9-5 but a little less of the interwebs and I can do it.
A new year
Here’s hoping for a better new year. 2012 was shit but it did have highlights. 2013 will hopefully be better.
A good way to start the new year.
Play more
Create more
Experiement more
Be calm more
Happy New Year
Change of Plans
I had two free days – 25/12 and 26/12. I had plans for these days, they involved some sewing and embroidering. They involved rewatching The Walking Dead while doing said sewing and embroidering.
But I’ve been rereading Fairy Tail instead. I can read lying down which is strangely less painful than sitting or standing. I have tonsillitis – the agony. I feel as though I’m starving to death very slowly. Today there has only been pain while I’m eating. It’s getting better but my two free days!?
At least it’s only two working days until the weekend. And then Monday is a half followed by yet another public holiday, so all round it’s not a real catastrophe.
I also managed to get in some fiction writing, but not for Price of Freedom.
Online Education
I love the idea of online education. I don’t think it will replace teachers or education institutions. And I’ve found a cool site with a fair number of courses I want to do - https://www.coursera.org/. I have started with two, Fundamentals of Online Education and E learning and digital culture. They start at the end of January and I’m very excited to begin.
Yesterday was a very long, entertaining, enjoyable, surprising and emotional yule. Good food, good fighting, good singing, good weather – all fantastic. I received two awards which caught me completely off guard. I was rather proud of myself at how I held myself together for the first award, but couldn’t for the second – not only the awards but the amazing artwork that went into them.
I have some ideas for today but none of them are really being acted upon…
Too bad, so sad
I don’t just enjoy sewing, I love sewing – I like buying the material, planning, getting the bits and pieces together and then creating something. I don’t like cutting out so much…
The point being I’m happy to make things for friends. I mean, I can’t keep everything I make – I have one cupboard. One thing I will not make for anybody again is a wedding dress. And now, I will never sew ANYTHING for a wedding.
