Today I feel like the world is picking on me.
Everything I try to do is foiled by incompetence, broken machinery and useless websites.
Changing jobs is nerve wracking – there’s the sending CV, interviews, proving yourself as an employee, meeting new people and getting to know new office politics. It’s an uncomfortable process when you plan it, and all out nuts when you don’t.
Work suddenly ran out and I found myself one Thursday afternoon without work until possibly much later in the year. In the interim months I would have nothing. This meant no cashy money, and like most adults, I’ve got bills.
At first I was like ‘aw, shucks’. I had a salary coming at the end of July and I was supremely confidant that I would get a new job quickly. I do my job well, I’m on time, I’m pleasant to everyone, I don’t complain or argue pointlessly – finding a new job would be no problem at all.
Until I came to realise very quickly potential employees don’t know this – all they see is a CV. Along with hundreds of other CVs. Then I felt gloomy. And I convinced myself that I had failed the course I completed the Monday before.
I didn’t fail and I’m using my oodles of free time to do two Coursera courses, some sewing and seriously getting into my Japanese studies again.
It’s not a great situation but it is what it is, so I’ve accepted it and am looking for work.
I don’t like sudden things. Be it noise, change, decisions, doesn’t matter – sudden things make me nervous.
For the last couple of weeks my finger has been giving me some trouble with the cold weather. It’s been stiff and the pulling across the top of the finger when making a fist has been rather painful. But I’ve been doing the exercises, massaging and working it; just keeping going with it.
But something weird happened last night. While I was massaging the underside ligament, I felt something odd. I can’t put into words the sensation – there was just a weird thing and all the pain left my finger. I made a fist and there was no painful pulling. My finger suddenly felt like my other fingers.
Because it was winter I had my hands under the duvet while I watched some TV, and for a while after the ‘weirdness’ I didn’t want to look at my finger. In my mind the reason why it no longer hurt was because something bad had happened and I imagined removing my hand from the warmth of the duvet to find my finger hanging by a ligament, completely dislocated or no longer attached to my hand. Never mind that I could move it, make a fist and feel my other fingers touching it.
When I did take it out, I looked at it for a long time. I watched carefully as I flexed it and curled it. It looked no different but felt worlds better. And it still does this morning.
I don’t know what happened but I’m immensely pleased it did. I do not enjoy constant pain and am glad to be rid of it.
I love cop shows. Detective more than forensic but I enjoy both. I’m also more interested in the crime than the human/character drama.
One hobby I have is writing, so I’ve decided to combine writing and mystery and write a LARP. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years but never really got round to it. But I’ve been inspired by the hours and hours and hours of Japanese cop shows I’ve been watching.
So far I’ve enjoyed BOSS, BOSS 2, Shinzanmono, Tokyo Dogs, Ouroboros, Majo Saiban and Mr Brain. I also enjoyed Voice because it was a little different to the usual forensic drama.
They haven’t all been good though… I tried Toshi Densetsu no Onna and apart from missing some stuff because I don’t know Japanese urban legends and superstitions, it was terrible – I tried to stick it out to learn the urban legends but I couldn’t.
The biggest problem I have is when they focus on a document and I can’t read what it is but I know it’s important to the story. I have to wait for someone to say what it going on. My lack of kanji knowledge gives extra suspense to the story.
It was a bit funny to see Fujiwara Tatsuya in a recent movie. I was like ‘hey, that’s the kid from Battle Royale‘, except he’s now a grown up ‘coz Battle Royale was a long time ago. It also made me realise that I’ve watched very few live action Japanese movies.
But now, onward to Maou~!
As a rule I don’t eat cake. I would rather eat some kind of jelly sweet. But on occasion I sometimes want to eat a cake-y thing. Could be a doughnut, sometimes a biscuit or an actual piece of cake.
This morning was one of those times and while I was at the PnP I found some lamingtons. Lamingtons and coffee is a good breakfast. Only it was chocolate cake inside – that is not a lamington. I don’t eat chocolate cake at all so my breakfast was ruined – RUINED~!
But my coffee’s still good.
Speaking of addictive things, I’ve become addicted to Japanese crime shows. I can watch nothing else, I stay up late, I rewatch my favourite episodes… Completely addicted.
“Hello, I’m Nantalith. And I’m a binge watcher.”
I read a fair bit of manga and sometimes in conversation I’ll remember something that’s somewhat related to the conversation at hand, but sometimes completely unrelated.
I find myself thinking things such as:
Where was that weird scene…? Ah, Gintama.
Oh, there was that gross thing… Ah, Gintama.
That really bizarre… Ah, Gintama.
WTF!? Ah, Gintama.
Americans are rather friendly is suspense filled situations. They’re always yelling out ‘hello’. It’s really weird, why would you let the big bad know you’re there and where you are.
I first started noticing this in Supernatural when I watched seven seasons in a row. But now that I’m watching a bunch of horrors I got from a friend, I see they do it a lot.
Maybe I don’t interact enough with the supernatural, but I don’t imagine myself yelling ‘hello’ at suspicious sounds and shadows.
There are some tropes I love – I know them, I recognise them and I love them. I seldom go to TV Tropes because there will be hours of entertainment and very little of anything else and sometimes I actually have work to do.
I’ve come to realise that some things I read, I read because I “know” which tropes are coming – I read shounen manga for shounen manga tropes. Story and characters are important, of course, but I do like some genre tropes thrown in there.
I think because of this, I find myself getting annoyed with people who complain about tropes – if you don’t like it, don’t read it (or watch it). Kurosaki Ichigo is too The Chosen One for me so I stopped reading Bleach. But I think people want to complain.
But I’m not complaining about Fairy Tail – I’m so excited for what’s happening. I eagerly await each chapter; Gintama as well – two manga I’m really into at the moment.
One of the best things about discovering a delightful long running manga, is also the worst thing.
I recently started reading Gintama with all its 500 plus chapters. I really enjoy it and I really enjoyed reading for hours and hours. But then I caught up and now I have to wait for weekly updates.
Awesome – finding a great manga with millions of chapters to be read.
Less awesome – catching up and having to wait for new chapter after getting accustomed to reading for hours.
I decided to sate my craving for more by watching the anime – not as enjoyable for me but made so by the fact that the guy who voices Hijikata, my favourite character, also voices a couple of my other favourite characters namely Mugen from Samurai Champloo and Date Masamune from Sengoku Basara.
I don’t watch all the anime episodes though, some are too silly in anime form, but I am looking forward to the current manga arc in anime form.
I say ‘end’ but I only mean end of braces and physio appointments. There is still the morning ritual of making it straight and the evening ritual of making a fist, as well as squeezing a foam ball. But when my hand is relaxed the ring finger looks like any other.
Apart from the obvious hindrances of having a broken finger, a couple of unexpected things have occurred. For example, a new found apprehension of climbing stairs and ladders. I worry that if I trip I won’t be able to catch myself from falling because I can’t grip things quickly. And when falling, you don’t really have time to flex and prepare your fingers to grip. It’s also difficult to demonstrate the difference between ‘flat’ and ‘bent’ when one finger is bent, thus throwing off the idea of flat.
But people adapt after losing fingers and so I shall adapt as well. It’s just… slow going.